Assistant Director
by aprylynn
Summary: Kensi had a terrible day and she wanted to suffer by herself. Owen Granger had other plans. Post Home Is Where the Heart Is (8x06). I own nothing except my feelings.


Kensi was just so… she didn't even know.

She was definitely pissed off. Nothing she heard the doctor say was good news. He talked about improvements, but nothing was certain and it could be months before she might see any results. She wasn't mad at the doctor, but she was still mad.

Deeks tried to be there for her, but she didn't want any of it. He brought her favorite food and pointed out the progress that she already made, but it wasn't helping her right now. His blind optimism was just making her angrier and she needed to get away. She wasn't mad at Deeks. She knew he was trying. Not long after the nurse brought her back to her room, she was dealing with being furious at herself for pushing him away.

There was definitely more than anger. She was also terrified that she'd never be able to go back to her normal life. She prided herself on her abilities and how she was able to fight her way out of any situation. She loved her job and how it pushed the limits of her body and made her stronger everyday. She also loved her life outside of work, how her and Deeks could go running or surfing or snowboarding or even stay home and work on their new house or not do anything but stay in bed and make love all day. How the hell was she supposed to go back to any of that if they couldn't even tell her if she'd be walking six months down the road? How could Deeks be so sure that she'd walk again when they didn't even know the exact extent of her injury?

How was she supposed to process all this and be okay with what's going on?

The nurses seemed to be steering clear of her, which she did appreciate. The storm inside of her continued to fume and rage and she preferred to just let it happen, rather than having someone convince her why she was going to fine.

Hours later, her fury had mellowed into plain old despair and self pity. She was lonely and would have loved a friendly face, especially a scruffy one with blue eyes and a smile that could light up any room. But she was too stubborn and embarrassed to call him. She treated him horribly when all he was doing was trying to make her feel better. For the past few weeks, he spent every possible moment by her side, even when she wasn't awake to notice.

"You're not planning your escape, are you, Blye?"

A gruff voice brought her out of her one person pity party. She looked up and saw Granger standing in the doorway.

"Assistant Director… how…"

"If you're wondering how I got in, despite your no visitors request, let's just say I flashed my badge and my title around and all of the sudden it wasn't an issue."

"Oh, okay."

He walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to her. "The last time I was here, you weren't awake yet. It's good to see that's changed."

"Yeah, well, not much else has changed. I'm still stuck here for who knows how long."

He was quiet for a few moments. "I met your mother then. She was here, reading to you. She's a lovely woman."

"Um, okay…"

"Before you get any ideas, I have no intention of being your future step-father, so you can relax."

Kensi cringed. "I hadn't quite reached that conclusion, so thank you for putting that image in my head."

Granger smiled, slightly, almost looking proud of himself. "You're welcome."

"Is there something I can do for you, Assistant Director? Because I meant it when I said I didn't want any visitors." She was lying, but was also still feeling too stubborn to admit that having company made her feel a little better

"You know, I'm trying to get away from this whole Assistant Director thing. It's handy for bullying your way into hospitals with disgruntled patients, but really I'd prefer it if you called me Granger."

Kensi just looked down at her hands, not saying anything.

"Deeks said you had a rough day and I just wanted to check on you."

"If he said it was rough, then he's not even close to describing what it really was."

"If it was so bad, then how come you don't want anyone to be with you? Especially him?"

"Because there's nothing anyone can do." Emotion was welling up inside of her, but she was able to keep it under control. "I'm probably never gonna walk again, so what does it matter who's around me right now? Plus, I don't even want to be around myself right now, so why should anyone else have to put up with all of this?"

"It's interesting that you're making the choice for them. Whether or not anyone wants to be around you right now."

"I'm probably doing everyone a favor."

"You know, your mother was here everyday. And I know for a fact that if Don was still around, nothing would keep him from you right now. Even if he were on a top secret mission around the world, he'd be on the next flight to LA."

Kensi wiped a stray tear from her eye, still not looking at Granger.

"And Deeks. We've been taking it easy on him at work, but he's still doing his job, plus spending every free minute here. And do you think any of these people who love you and care about you are doing this simply because they think they have to? You think they have other places they'd rather be?"

Kensi felt like she was being scolded, although Granger's voice was quiet and gentle. She finally looked up at him. "This is all just too much." Her voice cracked, but she managed to blink away any tears that were threatening to come. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to do my job again. Or do anything else I used to do. And all these people who care about me and love me, I'm just going to become a burden to them."

"Let me ask you something." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "If the situation were reversed, if it were your mother in that bed, or Deeks, what would you do? Would you feel like they were a burden? Or would you do everything in your power to be there for them and help them every damn day?"

Kensi leaned her head back and let out a sigh. Granger was absolutely right. She didn't even have to give it a moment's worth of thought. If Deeks had been the one injured in that crash and in a coma and facing uncertain recovery, it wouldn't matter to her one bit. Nothing would stop her from being by his side.

"Well, I think I'll leave you be. I've taken up enough of your self-imposed solitude. I just needed to see for myself how you were."

He smiled, got up and headed towards the door.

"Granger?"

He turned around, smiling when he heard his name. "Yes?"

"Um, thank you for bullying your way in here."

"You're welcome. You're important to all of us, Blye."

"And, um, could you tell Deeks that I'd like to see him when he's done with work? That is, if he still wants to."

Granger smiled. "I'll tell him, but just so you know, he had every intention of being here anyway. Even if that meant he'd have to stay in the lobby."

Kensi couldn't stop the tears this time.

"He's a good man, Blye."

"I know. He's the best."


End file.
